Girls, Girls, Everywhere....Except Here!!!

Life is funny. My brother and his wife are expecting their first baby. My brother was really wanting a boy. He is as crazy as me, but in his own special way. He is under the impression that you can breed children to be something you really want them to be, and he thinks that if he has a boy, he can mold him into the ideal athlete. So, it will be fantastic once reality hits him. Plus the ultrasound technician is 90% sure it is a girl. I suggested he name the baby Kayela. My name, and our sister, Lana's put together. I can't believe his wife doesn't want to do that....seriously, I think I'm funny! I really didn't prefer either a boy or a girl for them. It wasn't until I was talking to Scott, and he said, "How do you feel about them having a girl?" I'm so slow, I responded, "I think it's great...I didn't have a preference." He then asked the question again, emphasizing the FEEL. I think he was totally stressing that I would be jealous and then start begging him for another child, or be completely jealous and freak out. But, I know he was super concerned about the effects of everyone around me having daughters!!! To tell you the truth, I was a very girly girl. I LOVED my barbies, I had fancy pajamas, loved frilly things, and when it came to sports, the only thing I was good at playing was the piano....well, it's kind of a sport.....my fingers would always sweat on the keys!!! So, you would think I would have that yearning for a little girl. Don't get me wrong.....I would love to have a daughter. I have had her name picked out for 12 years, my mom has the most beautiful fabric for her blanket, and it would be so fun to have pink and dance class, so on and so on. Sometimes, life doesn't give you what you think you are ready for. Did I ever think I was ready for 5 BOYS? Not really, but I am absolutely in love with them. I love their range in personalities, their strength, their little manliness, and everything that comes with having boys. So, all in all, I feel very content. Scott comes from a family of 7. 6 boys and 1 girl. His sister has 2 boys, but she didn't control that outcome. His other brothers that have kids have 2 boys and 2 girls each....what is up with that? My sister has 2 girls....and now my brother is having a girl. By the way, I tried to fill the girl fix with Lexi...but it is not the same. I'm not even sure why I am expressing all of this to you....just rambling with my thoughts. Anyways, it seems that everything around me is falling apart! Last night at 11:00 Scott opened the garage door to get something out of his car...stinking garage door fell apart. That's right....completely apart. The garage door guy was out this morning and we have to replace it.....not exactly what I want to spend vacation money, or any money at all on. The crappy part about this is, it is 100% due to my stupidity. A while ago, I backed my car out of the garage with my driver side door open. That wasn't good when it smashed my door, and took the garage door off the tracks. We have spent hundreds of dollars in repairs since then, and now it is time to replace it. I have to say, Scott has never once made me feel bad about it. I hate to admit it, but I would have ripped his head off. Every check I had to write I would have grumbled something horrible. Needless to say, we are quite opposites. Speaking of getting things fixed, Lexi is getting fixed tomorrow....already complained about that one! There is something in my house that smells.....I can't find the source. I have emptied every trash can, cleaned all the carpets, washed all the dirty clothes, and I still can't find it. Tonight we will be pulling out the washer and dryer to clean behind and under those. Hopefully we can solve this mystery. Tomorrow I am suppose to drive with my parents and brother and sister to Palm Springs to go see my grandfather that just got transferred to hospice. He isn't going to hold up much longer. Please don't feel bad for me. He is 92 years old. He also really hasn't been part of my life since I was 12. My family had a falling out, and just reconciled a couple of years ago. He is my grandfather, and I do love him, but the thought of driving to and from in one day isn't fun. That makes me sound like a horrid person, but we aren't very close, and he has lived a long, pretty healthy life, so there are sadder situations. Despite the fact that everything around me seems to be falling apart, and everyone else in the world seems to be showered in pink, I think of the Relief Society lesson we had a couple of weeks ago, and how we must look at the big picture. I guess my point to this is, no matter how good other people seem to have it, or temporal things get taken away, or even loved ones get taken away, life is good. Is it weird that the everyday, simple pleasures make me feel like I am a happy person? I have so much, and I am so glad that I really do appreciate it. I love watching my kid's strong, healthy bodies, even when they are beating the crud out of each other....I'm grateful they can do that! When the garage door falls apart, and I laugh at Scott when it actually detaches, I'm grateful he doesn't let it ruin his day. When my house smells like who knows what, I am grateful it forces me to deep clean! Even when my 12 year old is so angry with me and tells me he hates me, I am grateful that he recognizes how hurtful that is, and tries his hardest to make it up to me and show his love. These are all bumps in the road, and I'm so glad I get to drive it!