Confessions From.....A Not So Smart Girl

I have had 120 days to study for my personal certification test....yes one hundred, twenty days! I am a procrastinator. I think I work best under pressure. It wasn't like I wasn't studying, I just wasn't studying as often as I should have been. I had made an appointment to take my test this morning. Monday was a holiday, so I had scheduled myself to study ALL day Tuesday, and really cram! Well, while I was teaching my 8:30 am class yesterday, my cell phone kept ringing. I checked it right after and had a few messages from my mom and sister. Turns out my mom had to be admitted into the hospital immediately. She had her heart surgery 6 weeks ago, and was doing very well. Unfortunately, the night before, her heart rate was sky high.....140bpm. The average heart rate is 70-80. Just to preface....this totally screwed up my plans!!! Luckily, Scott was able to leave work and take over the house, kids and carpool. I got a sub for my spin class and went down to the hospital with the intention of studying while we waited. Anyways, there wasn't much down time....Mom ended up having to have her heart shocked, and that was successful in bringing her heart rate down. I was going to sit and wait for her to come out of anasthesia and hang out with her until she could get discharged.....meaning study time, BUT, I was starving and had to get some food. Came back to the hospital and hung out with my mom, and basically got zero studying done! Not good! After I got home, Scott took most of the kids to football practice. I kind of had a quiet house, made dinner and got what I thought was enough studying in. I was hoping I was smart enough to get a passing grade. Just so you know.....I'm not! I totally FAILED!!! Scott felt really bad for me, I don't feel bad for me.....my main emotion is anger! I am so ticked! I plan on retaking the test....hopefully by the end of next week. I am a bit compulsive....I plan on soaking up as much knowledge as my teeny little brain can hold! Now, if I fail next week I am sure I will be sad. I wish I could say this was the worst part of my day, but I think I have come to the realization that there are so many worse things in life....but I am still going to vent. Luckily, my mom's incident was successful, but still an emotional day. Today, was just a crappy day.....but also a good day, and I appreciated it. Like I said, Scott was sad for me, and since he knows food is my drug of choice, took me out to lunch....he even offered Tommy's, but I wasn't that depressed, plus it isn't Valentine's Day! So, we went to Carl's (yes, it is a bit healthier). I figured since I was going to be devoting my life to the personal training manual, I would need some power food to get me through it....what else besides Tutti Fruiti jelly bellies. So, I ran into Albertsons, and they are no longer selling them out of the bins. I spoke with the lady that worked there, I think she felt bad for me and could see the sadness in my eyes, or maybe because I told her that I was about to cry. Honestly, the fact that Albertsons is no longer selling my precious jelly bellys stung more than my failing grade! Luckily the 500 tootsie rolls I ate numbed that sting! Once the kids were home from school, I got to deal with a "George" afternoon.....constant fighting, whining, and zero reasoning. That just about did me in. I had my bootcamp class tonight, and was looking forward to releasing my aggression....I get to the gym and realize my ipod is frozen. ALL of my workout music is on my ipod! I scrounged up the last of my existing CDs to see if I could put something together. 2 minutes before my class started I was able to restart my ipod, and had my music.....yeah! I knew it would be a good class after jump roping to Run DMC....It's Tricky.......so good. I feel like it was a good class, and I really needed it. I've got more than half of my kids to bed...the house is kind of clean. I am ready to STUDY! So, if my phone rings and goes to the answering machine, it is because that is one of the rare moments I get to study without kid distractions. Just a few more complaints....my camera broke...hopefully we can fix it somehow......my computer broke....Scott ran out and bought me a new one, even though we are really trying to save money......it is one thing after the next. Ugh! I was a bit grumpy before I had to leave for the gym, and it is amazing how one experience can turn you around. It's nothing big, but I was bathing the youngest 3. While they were in the bath, the shower head accidentally turned on, and KC had the funniest, excitable laugh. It made me smile and made me realize life really is good. OK....I've gotta go study........I was so looking forward to getting this scrabble tournament put together.....looks like it will be later this month. I am smart at things that don't matter....watch out, because I play scrabble much smarter than I take tests! At least I think I do...at this point, who knows?